deucebowl:

she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere

(via asvprock)

adventureathlete:

thattallsummonerguy:

olisaurusrex:

true-blue-brit:

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.

It’d bring me great joy.

image

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

Or if you’d like to have some more options….
image

I’m 6’4”
228 pounds
and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football.
Just in case you are looking for variety.


image

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

(Source: culturistjack, via oneforthlesbian)

acupofteaandmore:

if i ever misgender you or use slang (bro, man, gurl, dude) that makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable please tell me because your gender identity and comfort is more important than any word i may use to refer to you

(via oneforthlesbian)

anonymoushippocampus:

anonymoushippocampus:

im sorry but my dad just told me a ridiculous joke and i really have to share it with you guys

what did the masochist say when asked why they lived with a sadist?

"Beats me."

(via oneforthlesbian)

yutoube:

i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash

(via oneforthlesbian)

gnarly:

When you go to someones house for the first time and you sit there like

image

(via asvprock)

batreaux:

well, son, i deeply misunderstood your birthday request for COD but we still need to eat all this fish

(via pizza)

andrewhussiesbosom:

andrewhussiesbosom:

DONT CHA WISH YER GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME

image

DONT CHA

(Source: guystud, via oneforthlesbian)

vexednature:

"exotic" is for plants, not people

"exotic" is for plants, not people

"exotic" is for plants, not people

(via oneforthlesbian)

almyro:

we need a deadpool marvel movie

(Source: personal-writer-for-el-blanco, via abburitto)